MY SUN, MOON & STARS

“Enjoy as you go” is the foundation of Stardust, its overall purpose. It will be repeated throughout this blog. Since it is what I try to live by, I want you all to understand the special meaning of this phrase. As small as it is, the message is powerful. This is the story of how it came about- from the beginning to the end.

To my favorite star in the sky, I love you forever and more.

Pop, this one is for you.

MY SUN, MOON, & STARS

POP WAS THE LIGHT OF OUR LIVES- OUR SUN, MOON, AND STARS.

First, you should know that my grandfather was a simple man, so I am going to try my best to keep this as plain as he was.

There was always Pop. He was the definition of unconditional love. If there was ever a name listed under that term in the dictionary, it would be his. P-O-P was also the three letters I used to spell dad even though he wasn’t mine. He was more “dad” than the one I ever had. He was everything a father and grandfather should be.

Pop made the world go round.

If I could choose any color to describe him while I was growing up, it would be red.

Red was the color of the cars we counted on the highway as we sat in our matching rocking chairs. Yes, they were nearly identical just in different sizes. Red was my skinned, five-year-old knees when Pop taught me the ropes of riding a bike. I loved every minute of it, and he loved watching me go.

Red was the color of his emotions when I would come running to him- crying so hard I couldn’t breathe. He was slow to anger, but when he did, there was hell to pay. He hated to see us hurt. Red was the color our faces turned in the heat of my softball practices, blistered by the sun. He made sure we were taken care of while Mama worked hard to support us. Red was the color of love he had for his family. We were his world. He was ours.

Red Was My Favorite Color.

I started getting older, and so did he.

Red was the color of the tractor he still sat so proudly on. He was Mr. Forsyth County after all. Red was one of two main colors of the high school he drove me to and from every single day. The same high school he attended. I would give anything for one last drive through that mountain with him.

Red was the color of his face when he taught me how to drive myself. He was otherwise great at hiding his nerves while I pretended 400 was the new Daytona 500. Red was his love for Granna. The greatest love story I ever got to witness myself. I could only dream of that type of love.

Two years had gone by, and it was fall break- my senior year. Red was the color of the leaves that particular day. The sun was shining, and the leaves were falling.

Red was the color of my mama’s eyes when she called us kids upstairs.

Up until this moment, red had just been red-

Until It Was Not.

Red became red.

Red was what I saw when she broke the news of Pop’s diagnosis. I could not see. I could not breathe. I could not think. Red was cancer. None of us could hide our pain.

Red was my knees that night from how long I stayed on my bedroom floor begging God to heal him. Begging for it to all be a dream. Red meant death. He couldn’t die. He was Pop, and Pop was invincible. He was our rock.

He was not ready, but the truth is, we weren’t either. Less than six months the doctors said, but Pop didn’t agree. He was a fighter, and fighters didn’t believe in red.

God gave us an extra year and a half with him. It was January, and there were no stars in the sky after midnight. It was time for him to go, and I could not bear to watch. There was no more red. There was no more anything. He was gone, and a big part of me went with him.

Red was the color of the Peterbilt bug screen used to cover his casket at the funeral. Red was the color of Old Alabama’s “Roll On” playing as they walked him out. Just how he would have wanted it.

He would be forever on the road. Forever watching over our lives. Forever my passenger on all of my drives. My guardian angel in life and death. His favorite past life, and my favorite shotgun rider.

The color red was never the same, and neither was I.

Pop passed away in 2021.

I remember him now as the color blue. Blue was the color of his eyes- filled with so much love to always be surrounded by us. Blue was his kindness, patience, and wittiness. There will never be another man close to Pop’s caliber. Blue was the color of the shirt he wore when he handed me my high school diploma. He was always so proud of us. I was just proud to call him my Pop.

Blue was not an emotion he felt when I asked if he ever got lonely.

He was in the middle of chemo, and he said:

“Why in the hell would I be lonesome?? I GOT ME!”

His smile was brighter than the sun. To know him was to love him.

Blue is the color of the sky I get to see every day- reminding me of his soul. Blue is the color of the ocean where we have the happiest memories. Down on Daytona Beach. I wish he could’ve gone just one last time.

Blue was my Pop who always practiced what he preached. He was an honest man. He knew how to find the light, and he knew how to be the light. Blue was the color pen he used to write the only letter he ever gave me. It was December, my 19th birthday, and the last one I ever got to share with him:

12-19-2020

Nealee wishing you the best birthday ever. Hope you have many more. Yours is 19th and mine is 78, so take your time. You got a long way to go. Enjoy as you go. Love you. Pop

To the one who taught me how to enjoy as you go–

Pop is the reason I learned to take life one day at a time.

He was the strongest man I knew. Even at his weakest point, he left me with the best piece of advice. Pop knew how to find joy in the darkest of days. He was the sun, and he was the last one off when the ship went down.

Pop was the epitome of a soul made of stars.

I will forever love him more than I can express. It’s because of him that I get to pass on enjoy as you go. May his legacy live on forever and more.

Live like Pop.

Because we do not hold tomorrow, enjoy the journey.

Enjoy the trials. Enjoy the growth. Enjoy the darkest of days. They do not last forever, and neither do we. Enjoy the sun, the rain, and the storms.

Life is what you make of it.

Most importantly, enjoy as you go